The Whine Bar

The Penfolds of blogs

Archive for the tag “bartender”

Long Straws, Lies and Low Carbs

Guys, ever tried to impress the female bartender with your order? Here’s how NOT to do it!

*Southern comfort is for bourbon drinkers who don’t like bourbon
*If your drink of choice is rum- go for a Mount Gay or Ron de Jeremy
*Bundy is only acceptable if you’re wearing a flanny, belt buckle and at a barn dance!

*If you order a vodka don’t try and pretend it’s not for you with a line like “oh that’s for my friend”
*Don’t try and butch it up by taking the straw out with a scoff. All that says is your masculinity can be questioned by a straw!

*Never ask which beers are low carb
*If you order a light, i don’t need to know it is because you are driving
*Don’t order a shandy and compensate by lowering your voice and winking at me



Bartenders ignore you for a reason

It may come as a shock to you but the person serving you your drink doesn’t actually care what happened at work, or with your girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband. And shock horror, but we definitely don’t want to see pictures of your kids or your pets or the meal you had last night!
The more time we have to spend babysitting you the less chance we get to serve other customers and make tips. So if you choose to share your life story, be prepared to be avoided by the bartender! They have a job to do and they can’t perform it if they have to fake laugh at your jokes because no one else will, or fain sympathy because your husband doesn’t care that you made a mistake cheating with the guy down the street.
So, to sum up
Step one. Order your drink
Step two. Leave!
If the bartender wants to strike up a conversation, they will.

Wolf whistles and cat calls

I don’t walk into your place of work, demand you stop what you are doing by snapping my fingers and whistling at you.

Some piece of advice for anyone wanting decent service at the bar

1. NEVER click, clap, whistle or tap the bar for service
2. NEVER call me babe
3. Don’t cough under your breath or clear your throat to announce your presence
4. If i’m making drinks, don’t come and stand in front of me thinking that is your best chance to be served next
5. On that note, if it is a full bar, don’t stand near the till or eyeball me thinking you will be served quicker. We make note of the order people turn up!
6. Tip generously on your first round! Your second round will be an equally generous pour with speedy service

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